Publish date: December 15, 2011 12:31 pm | Tags: gifts, Wedding
If you were told that there is no gift list as we do not want anything in particular and just want you present at our wedding would you still bring a gift? Do you feel obliged to give a gift at a wedding?
Would you be happy to not take a gift?
Would you be happy to give money towards something?
Please Help me i really dont want gifts at my wedding but im being told be relatives that people will want to give us something so they will get something anyway!!! Ahhhhh
Thank you for all your advice! We actually dont need anything at all we have everything we could need as we have lived together for a while and as for asking for new bed covers or other thibgs, if i want something new (which i dont) i would buy it myself and would not make a list of things just for the sake of making a list.
I feel that mentioning wedding gifts is perfectly acceptable and not tacky at all, if people think its tacky to mention it then why do they ask you for a gift list or even give a gift?
I understand that people care about us and would like to give something as a show of appreciation for being invited and to show they care however not being a very materialistic person i would find a card with a lovely message much more thoughtful than an object.
We intend to send individual thank you cards to everybody who attends not just to those who give a gift.
Thanks again for your advice but i am still very stressed! The gift issue is the most stressful part!!
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December 15th, 2011 at 1:25 pm
I think people will give you a gift anyway, distant relatives or people who show their love by giving a gift. Register at a store that will allow you to return your gifts (Bed Bath and Beyond is great with their registry). Let everyone buy you something, then return it for the money.
December 15th, 2011 at 1:34 pm
gift card
December 15th, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Just to be nice I usually get a card with a either cash or a gift card in it. If they want to give at least a little something, don’t hurt their feelings by not accepting it. Especially grandparents. They’re funny about that and will basically shove in your pockets for you.
December 15th, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Tell everyone instead of gifts to donate to a charity for you instead. You and your Fiance pick a charity and ask people to donate to that charity.
December 15th, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Just let them bring what they wish. Because you do not want gifts, most will probably bring gift cards or money. Don’t make this a bigger issue than it is.
December 15th, 2011 at 2:44 pm
I woudl feel weird not giving ANYTHING, so even if they said no gifts, I might give them a little something, whether it be cash or coupons for a massage or something. If they want money towards something, I would definitely give it. I don’t have any objection to giving money, and it’s their choice what to spend it on. If they don’t register, I would give money. However, I think older people might be more traditional and demand that the couple register.
In the UK registering isn’t done by everyone though, so here it’s not really a problem if they don’t register. Also, in 2007 a major registry company went bust, withholding lots of couples’ gifts. I think after that a lot of people over here lost their faith in those businesses.
December 15th, 2011 at 3:14 pm
I would not bring a gift if told not to and just let what happens happen; make your wishes known and then it is out of your hands and no, I do not give money in lieu of gifts every for any reason or occasion.
December 15th, 2011 at 4:00 pm
you can’t ask for cash, or for money towards your honeymoon. it’s just the most gauche thing on earth to do that. if you don’t want gifts, that means, cash, checks, money orders, wire transfers, hard gifts, everything is out. put on your invite ‘in lieu of gifts for the bride and groom who have everything they want and need already, please make a donation to the charity of your choice.’
December 15th, 2011 at 4:32 pm
something for the house something useful on the honeymoon. oooh mabye some smell good for the both
December 15th, 2011 at 5:07 pm
When we attend wedding reception, usually we think of the expense needed by the couple to organise a wedding dinner; hence we commonly give a red packet ( chinese custom) with some cash in it. It is our sincere way of well wishing and to show support financially.
December 15th, 2011 at 5:33 pm
If it were me, I would get a card and put money in it! How modest of you to appreciate your guests’ presence instead of assuming you will get gifts like some other brides.
December 15th, 2011 at 6:13 pm
People will give gifts anyway. It’s tacky to ask for money, so even if you are tempted, don’t do it!
You need to go ahead and register a few things, even if you think there is nothing that you need. How about new bath towels or bed linens? Picture frames to put wedding photos in?
We weren’t planning to register either, but people kept asking, so we did. We ended up with some gifts, several gift cards, and cash.
December 15th, 2011 at 6:51 pm
Who doesn’t want a gift or money? People will give you gifts no matter what. Just register somewhere and get past this. I would never go to a wedding without giving something!
December 15th, 2011 at 7:43 pm
I understand the whole gift process, what you could do is ask for donation to a charity that you want, and give people the options of give money or donating directly to the charity and I guess you could give a reason that you want to help others like your family is helping you by attending your wedding and celebrating with you.
Congrats, good luck,
Happy New year
December 15th, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Yes, they will. They love you very much and want you to have something nice, from their heart, or something that you really want/need. Graciously accept any gifts you receive and be sure to send a very thoughtful thank you note.
I personally do not think you should make any mention of gifts whatsoever. I think it is tacky to assume on a wedding invite that people will bring a gift and to tell them NOT to, is just as bad as telling them what you want.